NVC/Gentle COnversations Script
These tools that have profoundly shaped how I relate to others and, most importantly, how I relate to myself.
My journey with NVC began through Echo Parenting’s trauma-informed class on parenting, a course that truly saved my life. This transformative experience taught me new ways to approach both myself and my children with compassion, empathy, and understanding. These principles continue to guide me daily, helping to foster healthier and more authentic connections.
Imago Therapy has further deepened my understanding of relationships, offering powerful frameworks to bridge gaps, repair connections, and nurture mutual growth. These tools have been a beacon for building harmonious relationships rooted in safety and love.
If you're seeking to transform the way you communicate and connect, I’d love to support you in your journey. Reach out to schedule a session, and together we can explore these practices to help you create deeper, more fulfilling relationships—with others and with yourself.
Wheel of Feels
Needs Mandala
NVC SCRIPT
Non-Violent Communication
Simple NVC flow:
Child on the floor throwing tantrum (or inner part of self struggling):
Name what you see/feel, without evaluation:
“I see that you are kicking the floor”
(Not I see you are throwing a tantrum)
-check in with yourself to see if you are coming from an integrated space
–if so, look at the Wheel of Feels, and find some that work
Say: “I’m wondering if you’re feeling
…, …, …, etc (it’s ok if the feelings conflict)
–Once feelings have been named, go to Needs Mandala, say: “I’m wondering if you’re needing …, …, …, etc”
-Then move into possible strategies for meeting those needs
“Could we try this … Would you be willing to try this … What would you think of this ….” etc
OR Self to Self
“I noticed I yelled” “I’m noticing my heart is pounding” “I’m noticing I feel funny”
“I’m wondering if I’m feeling…” Look at Wheel of Feels
“I’m wondering if I’m needing…” Look at Needs Mandala
“I’m wondering if I should…” (do some embodiment techniques, make a phone call, eat a sandwich, etc.)
IMAGO SCRIPT
Simple Imago Flow
For partners, can also work with parts
Partner A: I need a witness; do you have capacity?
Partner B (assuming has capacity): yes, how can I be of service?
A: begins to say what’s coming up for them
B: listened deeply, with the capacity to repeat back what A is saying.
A: speaks until the feel complete (ideally in a small enough chunk for B to repeat back what they heard)
B: repeats what they feel like the heard, without analysis or judgements, summarizing is ok and validating is ok
B: asks-Did I get you? Does that feel like what you’re saying?
A: yes (if not, A says it again, B repeats, etc)
B: asks-is there more?
A: if more, A says more and keeps repeating the repeating, summarizing and did I get you parts until A feels heard
B: I’m wondering if you’re feeling …(then lists a few possible feelings on the Wheel of Feels)
A & B look at the Wheel of Feels together to discern what’s being felt by A
B: I‘m wondering if you’re needing … (then look at the Needs Mandala)
A & B look at Needs Mandala together
B to A: what kind of strategies can we use or implement to support you?
If this activates an issue with B, or is about a shared challenge in A and B’s relationship, B can ask if A is open to receiving them.
Once the above process is completed with B, A & B can work together to find sustainable strategies so both partners feel seen, heard, respected, supported, etc